What A Jerk!
by Peachy-Author
Summary: A fic where Dudley and Kitty learn more about the annoying Jerkbait! One-shot!


(A/N: Here's a new fic where we learn something _very_ interesting about Jerkbait, and special thanks to **MWolfL**, who helped make this story possible! Since you probably wanna know what the interesting thing is, I'll start the story now!)

It was a fine day in the city of Petropolis. None of the villains were causing mayhem, so the T.U.F.F. agents got the day off. There's not a whole lot going on, but I see that Dudley and Kitty are out for a stroll. Let's go see 'em!

Dudley and Kitty were holding hands and talking as they walked around the city, enjoying each other's presence. They're practically inseperable, just the way they've been since they got married several weeks back.

By now, they were at the park, where they walked past a bush. Suddenly, an arm shot out of the bush and grabbed Kitty's free arm.

"What the-" Kitty began, but that's when she felt herself being pulled away from Dudley.

"WHOA!" Kitty exclaimed, quickly tightening her grip on Dudley's hand.

When Dudley felt Kitty being pulled away from him, he tightened his grip on her hand as well, and turned to see Kitty being pulled on by an arm that was sticking out of the bush.

"Let go of my wife!" Dudley yelled at the bush.

The arm from the bush continued trying to pull Kitty away from Dudley, but Dudley wasn't about to let go of Kitty. He pulled back, and now Dudley and the arm were playing tug-of-war with a very unhappy Kitty.

After several minutes, Dudley said, "Time to end this!" He gave a final, strong pull, and Kitty was at his side again.

"I win!" Dudley announced.

"My hero!" Kitty said, giving her husband a kiss on the cheek. However, the arm from the bush was still holding onto Kitty, and it was no surprise that the arm belonged to Jerkbait!

"Don't you ever give up?!" Dudley asked, clearly annoyed with the jerk.

"No. You know very well that Kitty's supposed to be with _me_, so if you know what's good for her, you'll leave her alone and let me have her." Jerkbait said.

"After all you've done to her, I don't think so." Dudley said.

"What has he done?" asked a couple of voices.

At this, Dudley, Kitty, and Jerkbait turned to see a couple of old cats, a male and female, approaching them. The cats looked similar to Jerkbait, but nicer.

"Come again?" Kitty asked.

"What has our little boy done?" asked the old female.

"Nothing at all." said Jerkbait.

"More like anything he can to get his paws on my wife." Dudley frowned.

"That's not true!" Jerkbait said. Turning to the old cats, he said, "Mom, Dad, you really shouldn't listen to him. He's well-known for making up stories that'll make me look bad."

"Wait a second! Jerkbait's your son?!" Kitty asked the couple.

"Yes, but just so you know, 'Jerkbait' isn't his real name. His real name is 'Gaylord'." said Jerkbait's mother. (A/N: Bet you never saw that coming, and a very special thanks to **MWolfL** for suggesting the name!)

"_GAYLORD_?!" Dudley and Kitty exclaimed in unison.

"Since when is my name 'Gaylord'?" Jerkbait asked his parents.

"Since the day you were born! That's the name we gave you!" Jerkbait's father said.

"Oh yeah? If that's my real name, how come I don't remember it?" Jerkbait asked.

"Maybe because when you were little, all the other kids nicknamed you 'Jerkbait' because you acted like a jerk towards them. You must've gotten so accustomed to being called by your nickname so much that you believed it was your real name." said Jerkbait's mother.

"Big whoop." Jerkbait muttered.

"Can I tell you how he's tried to get a hold of my wife now?" Dudley asked.

"No!" Jerkbait said.

"Son, let him speak." said Jerkbait's father.

"But Dad, he's nothing but a dirty liar!" Jerkbait whined.

"And you aren't?! You're lying right now!" Kitty told him.

"You are?!" Jerkbait's parents asked their son.

"No, I'm not." Jerkbait lied.

"You just lied again." Dudley said.

At the rate things were going, Kitty sensed that Jerkbait's parents would never get to hear of the things their son did. She grabbed Jerkbait, clamped her hand over his mouth, and said, "Dudley, tell his parents what he's done."

So Dudley told Jerkbait's parents everything. Needless to say, his parents were not amused.

"Gaylord, we taught you better than that!" Jerkbait's father said.

"Really? Guess I should've paid attention." Jerkbait said.

"That does it! You're coming with us, young man!" said Jerkbait's mom, dragging him away by his ear.

I probably don't have to tell you that Jerkbait was in _a lot_ of trouble, and was severely punished (use your imaginations to determine the punishment).

The End

So the surprise was the fact that Jerkbait's real name is Gaylord. How's that for a surprise?! Please review, but NO flaming!


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